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VI. The Lovers

April 16, 2021

Lovers Archetype BeholderSphere

The Lovers Tarot Card of Rider-Waite Deck

Tarot Card From The Rider-Waite Deck

Balance and Loving Presence

The Lovers Archetype is about balancing energy of opposite polarity that are within you to achieve higher states of consciousness and spirituality. This is most often done by favoring the present moment over the past or future. It's more important to have good relationships and enjoyable experiences right now, than it is to be right or goal oriented, or controlling. Improvise and go with the flow while seeking out joyful and exciting experiences. Be a loving presence with little to no agenda.

Co-creating and Living a Love Story

A Lover is fully aware of the love story that they are living. The story progresses as people change, hopefully for the better, as everyone is striving to be the highest version of themselves. A lover seeks to help the ones they love grow and achieve greatness. A lover authentically wants what is best for their partner, even if it means sacrificing something or suffering. The story that takes place is a co-creation as each person involved plays a part in what happens in the story. It is best for everyone involved that there is honesty with oneself and with others while living a story, because when a story becomes false or is revealed to be not in alignment with reality it can be very painful and unstable. For this reason a lover is genuinely curious about learning the true self of their partner and adapting to them. By accepting yourself and your partner for who they are, the story will be stable and allow more flexibility on what they choose to have happen next.

Circulating Energy in a Microcosmic Orbit

One way to move energy in the body is to circulate it while in what is referred to by Taoists as the Microcosmic Orbit. This can be done as part of a morning meditation routine but also when energy arises in the body. This also helps clear any energetic blockages by making them easier to feel. In the drawing, it was supposed to be represented in the subtle counter-clockwise rotation caused by the movement of energy from positive to negative and then from negative to positive. When there is no blockages, it is easier to feel optimistic, joyful and positive about situations. This is when love can flow freely to and from others.

The Lovers Archetype Draft Sketch

Earlier Draft of The Lovers Archetype

Divine Masculine Amplifies Divine Feminine

yab jum symbol

This archetype is about balancing masculine and feminine energy within, as well as with a lover. By being in tune with how to tap into masculine and feminine energy, there is a greater capacity to show up and relate to a partner of the opposite polarity. By taking on a stronger masculine role it allows a woman to feel safe and protected to go deeper into her feminine essence.

Since this archetype is about being in tune with the present moment, intimacy with others can become very playful. It's preferable to have a plan for what will happen while with a Lover, depending on what is happening in the love story. But if there is no plan, let it all unfold naturally. Guide the experience to become positive and uplifting. Dance is one of the most fun ways to get to that joyful state-of-being.

Being Present and Communicating Non-Verbally

The Lovers

First Draft Sketch of the Lovers Archetype from April 2021

It's best not to get caught up in the mind about the drama or challenges of a relationship. Instead, let it go for the time being and focus more on being here now. It can be damaging to a relationship to attempt to work out issues while upset or with an upset partner. That would most likely lead to leaving the Lover Archetype. The Lover communicates primary non-verbally and with as few words as possible. So it's important to be clear, honest and brief about feelings and intentions. Let go of all the complexity and just be present. It's much better to work out the complicated intellectual or emotional concepts with someone who is not causing them. In this way the challenges become clear without placing any burden or damage on the relationship.

I have control over my part of my relationships. My emotions are my responsibility so I intend to only bring my positive emotions. I can deal with the negative ones with a supportive friends or relative. By being the best partner I can possibly be, I am making space for an equal partner to show up to compliment the energy.

Connecting With Community Sketch

Connecting With Community Sketch

Feeling Comfortable With Who You Are

Confidence and emotional stability come from loving and accepting yourself for who you are. That provides a stable foundation to love and accept someone else. Because of this, much of the Lovers Archetype involves working on yourself particularly by taking responsibility for your emotions and action. Being in partnership or in a community provides feedback on who we are and how people respond to what we bring. You don't have control over who others act or react, but you do have control over own way of being. By being honest and loving with yourself, you indirectly encourage others to do the same. Those who are also honest with themselves at a similar level that you are on will tend to relate and feel comfortable connecting deeper.

The Lovers Archetype is an ideal archetype for expressing Gratitude, Joyful Mentorship, intensive workshops, Connecting with Others, and being in at a community event.

Chimro - CHoosing In the Moment to Remain Open

Chimro is a word that can be said to signify that a person has something to say, but is choosing not to say it to allow for something deeper or higher to be said or happen instead. In this empty space made by not speaking, something new and potentially better can happen. It is a space of growth, listening, allowing and presence. It breaks habits and patterns of past ways of being, where new ways of being can be explored.

Transforming Love Into Presence

Transforming Love Into Presence Drawing

In other words: This is a word to say when something comes to mind to say to someone, a conversation topic or thought, but instead of saying it, you choose not to. Instead exchanging talking with simply being open. Sometimes this can feel unnatural, and you may want to acknowledge that it’s happening. In that case, you can simply say: “Chimro”.

Gemini Double Dragon Angels

Gemini Astrological SymbolGemini Double DragonsThe 2 metaphysical dragons at the top of the drawing represent the potent spiritual force of love when it is mixed with the imagination and made into a story or mythology. On each of their arms is the symbol of Gemini - The Twins. In this context it refers to Twin Flame Soul Mates. There is a lot of potential in but not all romantic relationships have an expectation to reach that high of a level of connection. In the drawing The Gemini Dragons represent the angelic transcendent qualities of the highest levels of love. It is what the divine feminine looks towards, while the divine masculine looks for it through the divine feminine.

Offerings and Elemental Energies

Apple and Lotus FlowerThe masculine figure on the right offers a lotus flower in one hand, representing the element of Air and a settled mind that is at peace. While in the other hand he holds a flame of passion. This fire and air mix when brought closer and closer to a partner of the opposite polarity. The divine feminine offers an apple of temptation and sweetness. This represent the Earth element. It has the potential to ground the airy lotus flower for a more fruitful result. She holds a bowl of water in the other, representing emotional intelligence and fluidity.

The Bridge of Connection

"I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."

- M. Scott Peck

Between them there is a bridge that is held up by trust, respect, clear communication and positive past experiences. Intentionally building a stable bridge between 2 people take time, energy and the willingness to learn and adapt to the other person's needs and desires while honoring your own needs and desires.  The connection can only be as strong as the weakest parts because when times get harder, the weakest parts become the biggest issues. If the issues are neglected or unresolved, putting pressure on them can cause the bridge to collapse, while would bring the relationship to a painful end.

Willingness to Learn From Books

Here are some of the books I studied while learning about this archetype.

Books on Love and Tantric Energy

The Fool Stepping of a Cliff

Fool Archetype Drawing - The Hero's Spiritual Journey Begins with Flight

Fool Archetype Drawing

Both character in the drawing are moving towards stepping off a cliff much like the very first archetype: The Fool. Except this time they can do so with confidence as they have manifested a bridge to walk on that connect eachother. This archetype has some similarities to the Fool Archetype in that both archetypes have a playful optimism and are a "Yes" to whatever the moment brings. There can be excitement, jokey banter and taking things lightly. Both archetypes risk failing, as falling out of love or being seen as foolish can be quite painful. This is represented by the spikes at the bottom of both artworks.

Timber Root Heartbreak

Timber Root Drawing for 2017

Timber Root Drawing for 2017 after a harsh heartbreaking breakup

Timber Root Symbol

Timber Root

The symbol under the bridge and above the spikes is called "Timber Root". It represents deep sorrow and heartbreak, like a tree that has been freshly cut and has fallen to become a piece of timber, it has been uprooted. The 3 spikes at the bottom represent jealousy, deceit, and rejection. The concept of a love triangle is also present in the shape, as they often lead to someone feeling left out. The split down the middle creates the feeling of the pain of separation from a loved one. The hole in the center represents the feeling of being incomplete or empty.

Learning from Past Heartbreaks

We all have our stories.

Heartbreaking Breakup Purple Hellist

The origin of the Timber Root Symbol. I drew it into a drawing representing a specific Heartbreaking breakup of a love story.

Letting Go and Moving On

Letting Go and Moving On

"Let go or be dragged." - Zen Proverb

An important quality of the Lovers Archetype is the ability to let go of people and stories when the time comes to do so. Letting go is an ongoing practice which can happen in small amounts frequently especially with a partner who is not committed. If someone pulls away from you, a balanced lover pulls away equally to match their level while doing so with love for yourself and the other person. When the opportunity presents itself to practice letting go, embrace it. Feel the feelings. Let go of that person non-verbally. It gives that person freedom and allows the space to either move on, or come back together stronger. It may be helpful to remember that when one door closes, it allows the space and time for new opportunities to emerge. Now is the time to level up by integrating the lessons and re-committing to love myself enough to grow into a strong and more experienced lover.

The lovers archetype starts with learning to be a complete individual self sufficient and happy with life. Only when a person loves themself, can they truly love another in a holistic way.

Feet together healing symbolThe symbol of 2 feet together, which is at the bottom of the artwork, is a symbol of wholeness that came out of healing from heartbreak. The symbol came to me when I saw my 2 feet together. Partnership is beautiful but so is being complete on my own.

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person—without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other."
— Osho

The Shadow of the Lovers

Insight Perspective Doodle

Contemplating Purpose and Perspective

By staying in the moment and cultivating a rich love story, a person embracing the lovers archetype feels whole and content. But the experience can lack meaning when the energy ebbs away temporarily. The shadow of a lover is that they are so often embracing the moment that they don't develop long term goals, get productive, or seeking their life's purpose. This can cause a lover to occasionally feel empty and confused about what they should be doing with their life, or what their legacy specifically is. A lover may confuse their life purpose with their love partner and dedicate their life to that person. This is a shadow element because it is a state of dependency and places a burden on their partner to remain in love, which will likely destabilize the relationship over time.

The next step after achieving highly pleasurable states of spirituality is to then choose a direction to go in that has deep meaning and spiritually aligned purpose. A lover must have a purpose outside of the relationship to build on. This leads the lover to the next archetype on that path: The Chariot. (Or The Crusader).

Relationships are Mirrors

Mirror DoodleOther people see you in a way you cannot see yourself. They reflect this version of you back to you so you can see yourself through their eyes. This is extremely valuable for personal and spiritual growth.

When you are in a relationship with someone, any emotion you bring to that relationship, your partner will feel and reflect back to you. If you nurture and express positive emotions, your partner will feel them and find it easier to be happy around you. If you feel negative emotion such as anger, irritation or disappointment, your partner will feel them and naturally become defensive or not want to be around you. This reflection help you to understand that your emotions are your responsibility, not your partners. The emotions you bring to your relationship are the emotions your relationship are about. If you experience negative emotions, even ones caused by your partner, it is wise to deal with those negative emotions outside of the relationship, with someone else in order to protect your relationship from your emotional instability. This does not mean deny or suppress your negative emotions. If you are angry, be angry somewhere else. Leave until you have sorted it out. If your partner is the cause of your anger, then after you are no longer angry, then you can discuss it with them. If you bring your anger to your partner while blaming your anger on them, they will reflect that back at you and blame the anger they feel on you.
Attraction Doodle Humming Fish


Ying YangThe key insight of the Lovers Archetype is balance. It's a universal wisdom that can be applied to all areas of life. Even if you have no romantic partner, the lovers archetype can still be applied in the form of seeking balance in all aspects of life. This includes relationships, recreational activities, productivity, exercise, diet and love.

The Best is Yet to Be-Come!

However a love story begins and ends in your life, it should be acknowledged and accepted as part of a broader story of your personal growth and to become the highest version of yourself. Each relationship adds experience and insight. As you grow to a higher level of yourself, others on that same level become more compatible with you. Because of this, most new relationships are better than the previous ones. It's OK to feel jealousy, heart break, sadness, disappointment and loss at the end of a relationship. The discomfort is an integral part of growth. Feel it. Express it. allow it. Heal it. Learn the lessons. You are the hero of your love story of ascension. As long as you learn and grow from each experience, then each following experience has the potential to be even better than the last.

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